21:21: #(2002 3 13)

general thoughts of the #{day:}

I travel too much.

I don't travel enough.

#(2002 3 13 15 20)

Looking at a circa-1999 incarnation of my web-site..., I'm somewhat bothered that I can't remember the semantics of my symbology..., or, rather, that I can't really remember the experiences through which I went during that period. It does seem that I spoke, then, more eloquently than I have since, and that I did create some things that were not complete junk, counter to what I've been thinking.

I've found old poems. I've found old lay-outs. I've found old symbologies. I've found... pretty things... that I made... and, now, it's almost as if I'm trying to remember who the person who created those things was. Was it me?

The funniest thing is the statement that I made about `letting people spy on me and being better able to live in the world with them'. I think that I was more introverted, then, and that I created more. It seems like interacting with people sucks out some sort of vital fluids....

Maybe it's also this whole `dp2' thing that has been draining me--too much `setting the stage', as Nick said, and not enough of using it. Though there's something about the set-up that seems so valuable--I now focus muchly on creating abilities, on making a universe for everyone to play in. I wonder if I'll end up playing in that universe, myself.

When I think about my motivations, recently..., it seems that my goal is simply, "be rid of pain.", and I wonder what I'll do when the pain is gone.

Tiare asked me what we'd talk about when all of our problems were solved..., and I don't know the answer to that question.

I used to just deal with the pain, but then I started trying to remove it, and that's where I now am.

It's somewhat... paradoxical-seeming? Someone needs to make reality bearable, and someone needs to bear it, and I'm not sure that one can do both, though I'd rather like to.

No, it must be possible--it's the same sort of thing as I was contemplating in regard of `hard' and `soft' code. There is no hard code, and there is no hard reality to be borne.

I feel a break-through coming on....

dp2-related thoughts of the #{day:}

{Hm:}# higher-order relations, honeycomb. I wish that I could

remember my nD-graphics-related HOF idea.... Eh--it'll come back to me.

[7d2.3.0d-00: meta-source]

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